One year ago today, I got some of the worst news in my life. My father had thought he was suffering from shingles and was instead diagnosed with leukemia and our lives have never been the same since.
I have seen and heard lots of things I wish I could take away from my head…Dad without hair, Dad shaking from the medicine, my mother sobbing on the phone to me, hearing that my father’s heart had stopped, that my 7 year old nephew asked “Why did you have to get cancer?”
I have to start looking at the positive side, though. My dad is still alive and cancer free…we are well on our way to Dad’s first birthday year, we have raised over $3000 for leukemia research, and I have discovered that I am much tougher than I thought I was.
Today is when I start changing my attitude…I need to stop being so depressed and actually get things done. Life could be much worse…last year this time was horrible, but today is better than yesterday so far and that is a start.
Please consider donating to my Light the Night team mate and help to further cancer research!
Tomorrow is an important day for my family. Not only might my newest neice arrive, but my dad is getting a second chance tomorrow.
8 months ago, I received a weird phone message from my sister asking me how I was and when I talked to our mom. I hadn’t, though, and had no idea what she was talking about. So, I started calling my mom…who was avoiding calling me. I finally got in touch with her around noon and that is when I was told that my dad was diagnosed with Leukemia, specifically AML. That was one of the worst phone calls I have ever gotten…worse than the one telling me my grandfather had died last year, worse than having to make the phone call to friends telling them that a classmate died. I was devestated and haven’t recovered yet.
But tomorrow, tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow is the day that my father gets his bone marrow transplant; and hopefully, back to normal and healthy. The donor is a European woman, that is all we know of her, but she is definitely one of my heroes right now. The fact that someone is willing to get a huge needle in their hip for a stranger makes me feel like the world isn’t as bad as the media and some leaders make it out to be. There are good people out there doing good things. You just have to look a little harder to see through the grime.
Either way, I hope that if I have to deal with something like this in my life, I can do it like my dad. He has been incredibly brave and graceful about this whole thing and has even kept his laugh. Without laughter, you have nothing.
So, please…if you stop by here tomorrow or the next few days, keep us in your thoughts. We can only get so far on our own; other people are always needed to provide the structure that keeps us upright and going forward. And that is the only way we are going, forward…even if this doesn’t work at first we will still go forward and try again, because there is no going backwards.
I will not be unhappy when the clock changes from 11:59 to 12:00 tonight. 2008 has sucked completely for me, with a few brightish spots.
On the plus side, the boy and I moved in together, I started school, quit a job that I hated, got some good grades, met some new people, and made my current friendships stronger.
On the negative, my grandfather died, Eric’s grandmother died, his mother got diagnosed with a brain tumor that was taken down to MS of the brain, my sister had a miscarriage, and my father was diagnosed with leukemia.
My father has been in the hospital for 7 weeks being treated for Leukemia (AML specifically). They let him go about 2 hours ago and now we can move forward onto the next steps of treatment. This has been a horrible 7 weeks…hopefully the next steps will be easier.
Yesterday, I was feeling very low. Visited my dad in the hospital and then went home and got into bed for an hour with intermittent crying. Not good at all. So, we went in for the Pumpkin Festival. I thought it would be at the Common because it was there many years ago when we first went. However, they moved it to City Hall Plaza instead and, luckily, I remembered that it had moved.
I also remembered to bring my tripod because I have a tendancy to shake and lean when taking pictures that need absolute stillness. Its a rather annoying thing, but I guess that is what you have to deal with sometimes.
This was exactly the outing I needed, though, as I was able to just wander around and take pictures of jack o lanterns and marvel at the carving skills of some people. I have no idea how they do it…I can’t even draw a straight line sometimes 🙂
In the next few weeks, I’ll hopefully be able to grab onto moments like these to help drag me out of my depression and into a better mood. That is the only way I’ll stay healthy and be able to be of any help to my family.
I am sick…my boyfriend teaches 7th and 8th grade and one of his kids got him sick this week. And I finally have succumb to the ickness.
I generally don’t take pills because they knock me out completely, even if they say non-drowsy. My medicine of choice is usually chocolate chip cookies. With liberal doses of Law and Order and reality shows.
Today has been filled with ANTM and Chinese food 🙂 We’ll see if I feel well enough to go to work tomorrow.